In a world where you’re dessicating corpse can be mixed into a coral reef, fired into low earth orbit or transmuted into a diamond (okay, fine, a cubic zicronium) settling for a standard ‘set me ablaze or plant me in the ground’ burial is just soooo 20th century.
And if you’re thinking of shuffling off this mortal coil anytime soon – or are just the sort of benighted soul who prefers to be prepared for every eventuality – of late, there are two brand new ways to dispose of your withered earthly remains. And both of them seem like they’re right out of the mad scientist’s lab.
First up, liquefaction which is pretty much exactly what it sounds like. Liquefaction chambers, like the one recently installed in Florida, work pretty much like cremation chambers. Except instead of scorching your corpse like the main course of a barbecue, it melts the flesh from your bones in a bath of pressurized water and caustic industrial base, preparing your skeleton for it’s last, more traditional trip through the good old cremulator.*
Which is neat, if you’ve ever wanted to be 86ed in truly James Bondian fashion. And really, who hasn’t? But what if you’d rather go out like Han Solo?
Don’t fret – Sweden has you covered. Courtesy of Susanne Wilgh-Masak, your body can soon be frozen in carbonite liquid nitrogen before being pulverised into a fine dust. The process, called promession, is on it’s way to being legal and regulated in Sweden, which means that soon, you won’t even have to piss off a solar system spanning crime lord to get the treatment.
And I guess both of them are good for the environment or something. Sure, great.
*It’s the thing that crushes your bones into dust after cremation, and is uncomplicated. It’s basically a reinforced clothes dryer filled with ball bearings.
Tags: burial, death, dying, liqueaction, liqufaction, promession
